Teen Depression: A Guide for Parents

Moodiness or something more

Being sad sometimes is a normal part of growing up, and so is a slammed door now and then. Parents of teenagers get used to a certain amount of weather.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry draws the line this way: when a child or teen is sad, irritable or no longer enjoys things, and this occurs day after day, it may be a sign of depression. The question to ask is less "is my teen moody" and more "has something changed, and is it staying changed."

Depression is a real health condition. It is not laziness or a bad attitude, and it does not mean you have failed as a parent.

How depression can look in a teenager

Depression looks different for everyone. A teen may show many of these signs or only a few.

• Seeming sad, tearful, anxious or "empty" much of the time
• Getting easily frustrated, irritable or angry
• Losing interest in activities they used to enjoy
• Pulling away from friends and family
• Grades dropping, or trouble concentrating
• Changes in eating or sleeping, including sleeping far more than usual
• Low energy and tiredness
• Feeling worthless
• Frequent headaches or stomachaches
• Thoughts of suicide or of harming themselves

How to start the conversation

The same organization gives parents simple advice: if you suspect your child has depression, try asking them how they are feeling and whether anything is bothering them. You do not need a perfect script. These steps can make the talk easier.

1. 1Pick a low-pressure momentSide by side often works better than face to face: in the car, on a walk, while cooking. Avoid starting in the middle of an argument.
2. 2Say what you have noticedBe specific and calm. "You have seemed really worn out lately, and you have stopped going to practice. I am not upset. I am wondering how you are doing."
3. 3Listen more than you fixLeave room for silence. You do not have to solve it in one conversation, and jumping to advice can end the talk early.
4. 4Take what they say seriouslyAvoid "everyone feels that way" or "you have nothing to be sad about." Thank them for telling you.
5. 5Agree on a next stepSuggest a visit with their doctor or a talk with a therapist, and let them have a say in how it happens. If the first talk goes nowhere, try again another day.

Warning signs that need urgent help

Statements about suicide, death or self-harm should be taken very seriously, even when they are said in passing. Asking about them calmly and directly shows your teen that this is something they can talk to you about.

If your teen is in crisis or you are worried about their safety, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 if there is immediate danger. Locascio Wellness does not provide emergency services, so please do not wait for an appointment. Our crisis resources page lists more options.

Getting an assessment and what treatment involves

A pediatrician, school counselor or mental health professional can help, and can point you toward someone who can carry out a full assessment. Starting with your teen's regular doctor is a sound choice, since they can also look at physical health.

The encouraging news, in the words of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, is that there are several effective treatments for depression. They include talk therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal psychotherapy. Treatment may also include meetings with the family. Medication is sometimes part of treatment, and that is a decision to make with a prescriber.

In therapy, a teen has a consistent adult outside the family to talk to. They learn to notice the thoughts and habits that keep a low mood going and to practice other ways of responding. Parents are usually part of the picture too, and you can ask the therapist at the start how you will be kept informed.

Everyday habits support treatment: spending time with friends and family even when they do not feel like it, staying active, keeping a regular sleep schedule and eating regular meals.

How we can help

Therapists on our team work with teens and with their families. You can read about teen therapy, depression therapy and family therapy to see what fits. We match your teen with a therapist who works with their age group and is licensed in your state.

Sessions are online, by secure video, and your teen must be physically located in Pennsylvania, West Virginia or Arizona during each session. Many of our therapists offer evening and weekend appointments, which helps around school. We do not prescribe medication.

You can book a free 15-minute consultation to ask questions before deciding anything, and our insurance and fees page explains coverage. Noticing that your teen is struggling, and acting on it, is one of the most helpful things a parent can do.